I Made a Promise

On Role Models

2008-04-19T10:26:00.003-04:00

Honestly, I'm just sick and tired of people calling people like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears terrible role models.

To the parents who let their children see these people as role models: what are you thinking?

Who decided that all famous people had to be good role models? I mean, if you want to be a singer, you should admire Britney for her voice. If you want to be a partier/famous sex video star, then look to Paris Hilton.

It's a job. They sing, they entertain, and that's it. It's not under their job description to be posters of how to be a good person in life.

That's also what makes me angry. Parents out there suddenly don't think it's their job anymore to educate their children, that there are bad influences in life. So instead, they let tv and video games educate their children instead, and then complain that their kids aren't growing up the way they want.

No shit, Sherlock.

Frankly, I don't give a damn if Britney shaves her head or if Lindsay Lohan gets caught driving drunk again. And quit the complaining about shooting games or violence in movies. I grew up with Disney until I was in grade school, because my parents kept me away from this stuff until I was mature enough to grasp a semblance of what's right and wrong.

I quite enjoy the fact that all my rants come down to the same thing: that society is made up of incredibly stupid people. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in masses.

In Love Again

2008-04-16T10:32:00.001-04:00

Nothing makes your morning like a Mocha Frappuccino with an extra espresso shot.

Oh, the caffeine and sugar. I think I'm in heaven.

Tolerance

2008-04-10T09:16:00.003-04:00

Only my bosses, seniors, parents, close friends, and people I hold a great deal of respect for have the right to boss me around.

You don't. And you're driving me up the wall, when I'm trying my best to keep my temper.

Atrocity

2008-04-07T17:45:00.000-04:00

How could you possibly find words to describe the countless massacres taking place throughout history, and are still happening now?

Is it even possible to fathom how and why those people did what they did?

Can you even call them humans?

Because by definition, humans have a conscience. And to the point where the conscience no longer exists, who are they but humanoid shells harbouring a sinister existence?

An apology for what your ancestors did is effectually meaningless. What's done, is done. And these bloody scars of pure, unimaginable, inhuman hatred will mar our history forever.

Dread

2008-04-02T16:03:00.002-04:00

3 simple words, reguarly incorporated into sentences when they are used separately. But who knew that they could illicit such feelings of dread when strung together?

Work term report.

Oh yes. Writing bs so that it doesn't sound like bs. Oh, and while you're at it, include some numbers so that your report sounds intelligent! That's the essence of it, really.

Not that I hate it, but it just feels like such a waste of time to spend weeks writing up something that I know will be inconsequential. Well, the one bright side of it is that at least I'll learn a bit while I'm doing my research.

Yay for wonderful weather! In early April, the definition of wonderful weather is pretty elastic. Par exemple, it's four degrees out and brilliantly sunny. It's terrific weather to me! And it's supposed to reach double digits this weekend! Wow.

Another note: I hate spammers. Go away, before I hunt you down. Hell hath no fury like my temper. Trust me. My aim might suck, but I throw a damn good punch.

2008-03-28T11:31:00.002-04:00

Oh sweet, sweet Friday.

And it's five more weeks before school begins again. Five weeks before I trade the limited freedoms that I have now for the ones that I have when I live away from home.

Earth Hour is this Saturday, and I think it's a really good strategy on WWF's part to spread global awareness for the environment and energy efficiency. Much better than those idiotic concerts (which are a collossal waste of energy on the grand scheme of things), anyhow.

But when does awareness turn into action? So we're famous for being able to talk the talk. And by the time we act, won't it be too late?

Perhaps it's a bit cynical, but I'm just being a realist. Governments simply care too much about economical and industrial benefits to give the environment a higher spot in their priorities list. For the trillions that we've spent on wars, we could probably have researched a practical alternative fuels vechicle by now. I'm just saying.

And there's no greater place to see selfishness at work on a grand scale than in politics.

Flowers

2008-03-24T17:22:00.003-04:00

I love spring. Well, it doesn't really feel like spring right now - seeing as the temperature's still subzero, but it's the concept that counts!

Temper

2008-03-11T20:46:00.003-04:00

I don't need anger management classes. Living with my mother gives me enough training in controlling my temper.

But let me just say that a ten-minute drive is NOT far, even if it's in the rain. *cue horrified gasp* And even if I get into a car accident, become paralyzed/mutilated/dead, seriously, it'll just be too bad. Because, dear mother, you might as well just keep me in a cage, the way things are going.

%$#@. So much for anger management.

MAKE IT STOP.

2008-03-04T17:15:00.002-05:00

Snow is beautiful and fun and nice when you don't have to walk in heels, lugging a 10-pound bag, when you can stay inside, under covers, and sip hot chocolate. It's enough of a struggle to wake up in the morning - I really don't need the snow and the cold to remind me of the lovely, warm, comfortable bed.

Melancholy

2008-01-12T12:33:00.000-05:00

"He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star"

Unrequited love sucks.

The Worst Criminal

2008-01-10T21:39:00.000-05:00

I can't stand how I keep on wasting time. I get home at 6, and all of a sudden it's 9:45 and I have to go to bed soon, so I won't fall asleep tomorrow morning. There's so much that I need to do, let alone the things that I want to do. And here's my reminder for tomorrow:

Audit Things:
- figure out how to get to Yonge/Eglinton for Monday
- read through infobases for IAA
- review stuff from audit session this week

My Things:
- look up when and whether I can go to Africa
- new un-christmasy blog layout
- update posts on I&E
- Buy Kushiel's Avatar
- finish freaking reading the fifth book, dammit!
- write an un-lame, meaningful post (probably full of angry ranting)

I'm weird, I know. And I'm sure you know too.

Hear My Plea

2008-01-08T22:40:00.001-05:00

Please, stop me from watching one chick flick after another, picking chapters of a book because they're particularly lovey-dovey, and putting up with horrendously written fanfiction simply because the fluff makes me feel fuzzy inside.

I swear there's something wrong with me, because I KNOW that I have better things to do and this gross girly side of me is getting out of control. Fix me. Please.

Family Studies 101

2008-01-06T19:39:00.001-05:00

I am so very proud of my newly learned ability to hem my own pants - AND I haven't hurt myself with the needle!

Clearly I rock xD. Next maybe I'll learn how to sew on buttons!

Uncensored

2008-01-05T16:13:00.000-05:00

Hmm. Is it bad that I no longer consider "ass" as a swear word? It's so silly when they sensor songs by either blocking words out, or changing them.

I heart the shiny laptop I got for work.

Blessings

2007-12-26T00:53:00.000-05:00

Just finished unwrapping my presents - it's rather sad that the older I get, the less presents I have (greedy, I know - but I have a right to retain my immaturity, right?) - although the presents DO get better.

Thanks for the wallet, hun - it's beautiful! =D

A belated Merry Christmas to everyone - hoping that you're having a wonderful time with family and friends, and having a very restful holiday!

Remembrance

2007-12-17T01:02:00.000-05:00

It's been a little more than a year, and I didn't realize until today. It was strange, really, suddenly feeling as if he was present in my room halfway through studying for organic chemistry - and knowing that I was crazy for making up these delusions.

I remember when Mel told me the news - I thought it was some kind of sick joke. Not until I saw the newspaper articles, the facebook memorial groups, and the hundreds of posts from the people he left behind saying how much they miss him and admire him that it finally got to me. That I'll never get to talk to him again, that I would never see him or hear him laugh, and that I would never playfully smack him for saying something dumb or smear whipped cream all over his arm again.

It makes me scared. And we weren't even that close, compared to all of his friends that he saw everyday, his family, or his girlfriend. We worked together for a little more than half a year, and hung out once during the summer, but I looked up to him as a brother figure. Lame, I know.

But I've resolved that it doesn't matter if other people think I'm over-sentimental, sobby, and even over-dramatic - I want to hold proof that his life was worth it. That he enriched the lives of the people around him - with his hot pink swimming trunks, wisdom, and funny/inappropriate stories. And because I'm afraid that my memories of him will someday fade away, I hold on to them as tightly as I can. They deserve a place in my over-dramatic, sentimental heart.

And I'll remember - for anyone who doesn't.

Excitation

2007-12-04T11:39:00.000-05:00

Joyce loves Flickr. And Photoshop. And Christmas. And Christmas-y themed things. And her dumb looking Pui-warned-her-repeatedly-about-not-buying-something-so-lame Christmas-y headband.

All is not well, though. Tax makes me want to cry.

If Only

2007-12-02T09:00:00.001-05:00

I could absorb knowledge by osmosis. You know, soak a couple of pages of notes in water, sit there, and not have to study xD.

Oh wishful thinking - studying's making me kind of delusional.

It's all snowy and pretty out! It's not like I'm going to go outside, though - I'm just going sit and enjoy a nice cup of hot chocolate. Yum.

Cold Hands

2007-12-01T18:40:00.000-05:00

I don't know why, but I'm really cold.

And it's a losing battle against tax - I'm already behind! I'm not giving this up, though.

By the way: Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin is an amazing song. AND I bought two dress shirts yesterday!

Frustration

2007-11-29T09:26:00.001-05:00

American politics make me angry.

It's good, at least I'm venting my anger on anything but breaking my damn laptop.

What the fuck? Women are more emotional and can't make good decisions?

Well. Fuck you. Fuck you and your idiocy. Would I be a better presidential candidate, then if I declared war on your or punched you in the face?

Would I be more of a man if I decided to gun you down if I get angry at you, instead of walking away?

Honestly, I can tell you that I have no idea whether Hillary Clinton would make a good presidential candidate or not. But the fact remains that you're a sexist idiot if you're against her simply because "she's a bitch" or because "women can' make good presidents". What, so discriminating against blacks is wrong, but it's okay to antagonize women with ambition?

Again, it's the SAME CONCLUSION: PEOPLE. ARE. STUPID.

I rest my case.

And this is the reason why I don't want to get married, or if I do I won't want children. I'd like to prove a point that I can be above social norms to reproduce, and that I value my career and education above all else.

What, think that I'm selfish? Well, let's see. WHY can some men do the same things - go to work for 70 hours a week, never see their families, and not be criticized? Let me remind you that fathers share an exact HALF of the genome of their children. So just because women keep the children in their uteruses for 9 months, does it mean that they're supposed to be the main player in caring for their children for the rest of the lives? I understand that some women want to do this, and I'm all for choice. But what about the women who don't, like me? The responsibility should be shared equally.

Has feminism never existed at all? What's going on in this world?

Mantra

2007-11-27T01:40:00.000-05:00

I will survive this.

Whole. Complete. With Sanity to Spare.

For sure.

Fun Stuff

2007-11-26T22:41:00.001-05:00

I think I'm camping out in the library tonight.

YAY!

On the other hand, school's nearly done. I'm half scared out of my wits, and half excited.

My internet purchases this month:
Very comfy fleece lined AE Sweater: $32
AE navy and green polka dotted camisole: $8
2 Threadless tees (a key for everything & emotional trip): $30
La Senza stuff: $10
Getting yelled at by my dear mother for spending so much: priceless.

In conclusion: I love sales. My mother doesn't, if it means me spending muchos amounts of money.

Reminiscence

2007-11-13T20:01:00.000-05:00

Would I, could I go back to elementary school. There were so many friendships that could have been had I stayed in touch; things I wish I hadn't ever done, or had done.

I was such an idiot in grade school. Okay, it's not like much has changed, but I was a bigger idiot back then. And more arrogant, too - I was one of those loud annoying little kids that I now want to squish.

But all this nostalgia aside, and bringing myself back to right now and this moment, it's true what they say - you are the average of your six best friends. Well, I'm just damn glad that my close friends are all amazing people - caring, loving, smart, funny, brilliant - and so much of my happiness stems from them.

Runaway

2007-11-05T01:39:00.003-05:00

I want to escape. Run far, far away from here, from everything that matters.

From marks, from classes, from exams and labs; from organizing events and attending meetings.

I just want some time for myself. I know it's my fault - I'm so stressed already (and a little sick), and yet I still can't focus on the work that I'm supposed to do.

But I'm just so tired. I don't want to have to work anymore. That's just me being immature and whiny, though - I know that tough, life goes on, and I just have to grind on just like everyone else. Run the rat race, hop on the hamster wheel, get nowhere, and die.

I'm feeling so optimistic right now. Can't you tell?

Honestly Now

2007-10-15T01:15:00.000-04:00

Do you know what makes me really angry? The fact that caring about global warming is now the thing to do simply because celebs and people like Al Gore SUDDENLY CARE that there's fucking carbon dioxide in our atmosphere that will cause global temperatures to rise, coastal regions to disappear, and thousands of species to be extinct.

WHY?

I have no idea - wait - no, I do. It's because PEOPLE ARE STUPID. Sure, no one used to care or think about it because there weren't any Live Earth concerts or documentaries - and now they do. By the by, has anyone even thought of how freaking hypocritical those concerts were? How much electricity they wasted, how much pollution the transportation caused? Of course not. Global warming was already a dire issue ten years ago. I know; I made a speech about it when I was in Grade 5.

It's the same thing with the AIDS pandemic. Everyone turned a blind eye, and all of a sudden GAP is caring, and Apple is caring. Now it's cool, hip, and the trendiest thing to do to tote around those red shirts and ipods. It's just another corporate ploy for publicity! Honestly. GROW A BRAIN.

Oh, and Al Gore winning a Nobel peace prize? Don't even get me started about it, but might I remind you that previous Nobel peace prize winners were Mother Theresa, the MSF, and Martin Luther King Jr.?

Mother Theresa. Al Gore. My God, just the thought of it makes me want to gouge my eyes out in frustration.

And politicians don't bring peace, they bring war.

Thoughts to Ponder

2007-10-11T18:52:00.000-04:00

Who decided that Asia would be on the "East", and that the Americas along with Europe would be the "West"?

The world is round, after all. So who was the one who decided to lay the continents the way they are now on a map?

On the other hand, interview results come out tomorrow. *frets* Along with the midterm for Intermediate Financial Accounting. Oh so much fun.

The Book Geek

2007-10-06T20:04:00.001-04:00

I bought a couple of books from Chapters and Costco today. Nothing makes me happy like buying new books! Well, that's kind of an exaggeration, but it was pretty funny when my brother looked at me as if I had mental problems (which I do, you know) and declared me the biggest nerd he's ever known.

Is it sad that I'm proud?

We're having sushi tonight! I'm excited. It's funny because the only turkey we're having this weekend is in the form of cold cuts.

I stocked up on so much food to bring back to Waterloo. Excellent.

Guilty as Charged

2007-10-05T23:02:00.000-04:00

I know. It's terrible, but sometimes I dread going home simply because my brother starts acting like an ass, and then a shouting match ensues, and it's just not all that great for the whole happy family in harmony thing. Nor for the remaining shards of my sanity, either.

It's just so frustrating sometimes, but I guess I'm keeping optimistic that in a couple of years he'll stop having his random jerk moments. I love my brother, I really do - which makes me even more upset.

Disney Wisdom 101

2007-10-03T12:00:00.000-04:00

"More to see
Than can ever be seen
More to do
Than can ever be done"

It's true, though. I constantly wish that I could have more time, but I just need to manage my time better. If only I had 48 hours in a day.

Shopaholic Withdrawal

2007-09-26T22:57:00.000-04:00

I'm already making a list of the things I want to buy myself for Christmas. That's how much I miss shopping.

Waterloo weather is back! It's damp, mucky, and cold. Excellent. I was getting kind of scared that the entire city suddenly went into some freakish climate change when we had a week of extremely good weather.

That just goes to say - good things never last! Well - nothing lasts, really. But the point is to treasure every moment of your life.

Sadly, even though I say this, the test of "if I die tomorrow, would I be satisfied?" constantly fails on me.

I'm going to try harder.

Edit: despite the fact that our suite is dinky and small, I love living with Juli, Meghan, and Yvvy. It's so much fun ^^.

Rubber Band

2007-09-25T12:43:00.000-04:00

Trust me to leave things until the last minute.

Is it kind of sad that a little part of me is actually enjoying the thrill of stress and tension - fully aware of the seconds ticking away? I swear I'm going crazy.

Life and Love

2007-09-24T02:05:00.000-04:00

"Even in the word 'impossible', lie the words 'I'm possible'."

Wow. I've been moved to tears, although it's pretty much a usual occurrence.

Edit: It's strange. How can a girl who absolutely adores romantic fiction/fanfics (well-written ones, please - the other ones make my eyes bleed) be such a cynic when it comes to relationships in real life? Or maybe I'm just trying to find an excuse for myself. I really should stop this self-psychoanalysis; it isn't really healthy for anyone.

Back to Basic

2007-09-23T10:48:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I got sick of the complicated pretty designs, so I reverted back to a simpler layout. I'm still not completely satisfied with it yet, but I'm getting impatient and lazy - so I'll just leave the layout be for now.

I Made a Promise to myself - and I hope that I can keep it.